Can’t Hardly Wait

There are many reasons women offer as to why they seek or have sought abortion.  In my opinion, none are good enough to justify taking the life of the developing baby within her with the exception of saving the life of the mother.  I admit when I characterize the reasons given for abortion, it sounds harsh, cold-hearted, and even callous:  I think the reasons are nothing short of selfish.  However, I believe the reason with the driving force behind abortion is not listed — but not intentionally omitted.  It is omitted because most people wouldn’t even think to link it to abortion because the reason precedes pregnancy, and abortion is only considered an option once pregnant:  Sexual liberty.

What do I mean by sexual liberty?  Let me start by explaining what I do not mean.  I do not mean these women are sex-crazed fiends who jump from partner to partner succumbing to their lusts.  I also don’t mean that these women are even all that promiscuous.  Sexual liberty is the notion that a woman should have the freedom to have sex as frequently or infrequently, with as many or few different partners as they desire, without the consequence** of producing children.   Essentially: I want to have sex as often as I choose and not be required to have a baby.

Pregnancy is only caused by only one activity: Sexual intercourse.  It would seem that many women are willing to take on the risk of pregnancy by engaging in the act, but then unwilling to accept what follows.  There is the tacit acceptance of pregnancy by engaging in the only behavior that makes one pregnant.  It would be like driving a car and not wanting to have to take the responsibility that comes from getting into an accident and injuring or killing someone.  Of course you don’t intend to cause an accident.  But in the event that while engaging in the only activity by which car accidents happen (driving cars), you must be prepared to take that responsibility.  It cannot be abdicated by virtue of non-intention.  Nearly half of all pregnancies are unintended, and nearly half of those are due to not using contraception.  That is like driving drunk.

Before continuing, let me explain why it is going to sound like I am picking on women, and what will follow will sound exceedingly sexist.

I think women bear the brunt of the responsibility when it comes to unplanned pregnancy, though it shouldn’t be this way.  Men (single men) generally speaking, quite frankly are irresponsible sexually and when it comes to caring for, protecting, and providing for the families they create in the wake of their “conquests”.  They are quick to say whatever is necessary to get women in the bed, and even quicker to disappear when they get the phone call telling them I’m late.  I lay the majority of the blame for abortion at the feet of men.  Women need to be strong and look out for themselves.  They need to realize that if they are not married, there is a good chance they will be a single parent with little or no help.  It is not ideal, or right, but unfortunately, it’s reality.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau (pp. 4-5):

About one-quarter (24.6 percent) of custodial parents and their children had 2007 incomes below the poverty level, about twice as high as the overall poverty rate for the total population (12.5 percent). The poverty rate of custodial parents declined between 1993 (33.3 percent) and 2001 (23.4 percent) and has remained statistically unchanged since (Figure 1). Poverty levels varied widely among custodial-parent groups. The poverty rate of custodial mothers fell from 36.8 percent in 1993 to 27.0 percent in 2007 and was significantly higher than the poverty rate for custodial fathers, 12.9 percent. Custodial parents who were young (under 30 years of age), Black, or never married tended to have higher poverty rates (about 35 percent) than their respective demographic complements, where poverty rates were about 20 percent.

A solid third of single mothers are at or below the poverty level.  Now, pro-abortion advocates will view this as a reason in favor of abortion.  But this assertion makes my point for me.  It is not a reason for abortion, as much as it is a reason against pre-marital sex.  This is the peril of sexual liberty I mentioned above.  Sexual desire and impulses are very strong, if not the most powerful instinct humans have.  But no desire — save for the desires necessary to live — is anyone obligated to obey.  But people like sex.  They reallylike it.  And why not, it feels good.  There is a disproportionately high value placed on fulfilling sexual desires.  So much so that any suggestion of restraint is seen as some kind of misogyny.  Neil from Eternity Matters made an astute observation concerning abortion,  “If abortion wasn’t related to sex it would be illegal across the board.  It is only because it is tied to the feminist movement and sexual “liberation” that it is legal.”

Just as a matter of prudence, sex should be postponed until one is intending to start a family.  Abstinence is the single most effective way to reduce both poverty and abortion.  And unfortunately, the bulk of the burden falls mostly on the woman.  She has the power to decide whether she will place herself in a situation that might force her to decide whether to take the life of her child, or live (potentially) in poverty.  Again, it is not fair that she bears this burden.  But she is the one who will be pregnant and must make a mature decision.  She needs to be strong because (speaking from experience) men are weak as far as sexual restraint is concerned.  True and responsible family planning comes before pregnancy, not after.


** I don’t really like using the term consequence when referring to pregnancy.  It unduly associates pregnancy and the baby with negativity (See: Pregnancy: Won’t You Help Cure This Terrible Disease?).


  1. “I admit when I characterize the reasons given for abortion, it sounds harsh, cold-hearted, and even callous: I think the reasons are nothing short of selfish.”

    The reasons are selfish — quite literally — putting the desires of the self over the life of another human being. Having said that, I like to start pro-life reasoning classes with the distinction between psychological complexity (pressures from boyfriends, husbands, families, economics, career, etc) and moral simplicity (you shouldn’t kill human beings for any of those reasons).

    The pro-legalized abortionists will mock the abstinence message, of course. “You are so naive to think that people won’t have sex!” We know that some still will, of course, but that doesn’t mean we don’t give the option of the best solution to everyone. Oddly, the Liberals don’t use that reasoning when addressing guns, drugs, alcohol, gay-bashing, etc. (“People will do it anyway, so we just need to make it safer.”)

  2. Excellent article!

    To be honest, as much as I am against sex out of wedlock, I’m not even trying to tell people to accept my morality and not have sex. IF they want to have sex and not worry about the possibility of pregnancy, then don’t have sex without a good form of contraception! Pretty simple, yet they seem to think abortion is a form of contraception!

  3. Cindy Sandifer says:

    i agree with you one hundred percent! personally, i can attribute my own abortion to an even more serious problem than sexual liberty: stupidity! i was so worried about what other people thought, that i did not think for myself! i will always regret that!
    i do think though, that many women engage in pre-marital sex, and promiscuous sexual behavior, for many and more complicated reasons than can simply be attributed to the so-called sexual liberation of women (it really is not liberating at all, it seems, based on the way it has effected society!)
    to name a few:
    -lack of self-respect
    -lack of the ability to say NO
    -lack of proper training at home which teaches the value of virginity
    -lack of respect for marriage
    -abuse of drugs and/or alcohol
    -associating with the WRONG people
    my thoughts.
    thanks for the posting. there is much truth in what you said. but please consider that not all women have sex simply because it “feels good”. sometimes it is much more complicated and desperate than that. sometimes it actually is an attempt to address a much more basic need than feeling good: feeling WANTED (even though that is obviously a farce). sad, but true.

    • Hi Cindy

      I hope my post didn’t give the impression that I think these women are just all about sex. My view of sexual liberty is the mind-set that says I should be allowed to have sex as often as I choose without having to bear the burden of children. Restricting my sexual frequency (however much or little) is not even an option. Its not really a frequency or recreation thing from my perspective for the majority of women. In fact, I think your list is as spot on as any could be. All of those things I see being actually promoted in the media, i.e., TV, movies, music, etc. And their opposites being mocked and derided. Great insight!

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