Double standards for the parents of unwanted children

Of all the defenses of elective abortion, the most abhorrent of all is that the child will be unwanted which subjects the child to possible abuse and neglect.  Shouldn’t we expect parents to care for and not abuse or neglect their children whether they’re wanted or not?  Why do we give a person who poses killing a child to be a reasonable alternative to caring for them any ear at all?  Think about the kind of indoctrination that must happen in order to get a mother to abandon the natural urge to care for and nurture her offspring.  What are we saying about the value of human life when we give validation to such an attitude?

every child a wanted childAs long as we’re giving credence to the idea that abortion is a viable alternative to having unwanted children, shouldn’t men have an option as well?  If women can avoid all responsibilities associated with unwanted children such as the financial burdens and time and energy burdens, men should have the same opportunity.  Equality, right?

I’m not suggesting that the fathers should have the legal ability to force the mother to abort their child.  But maybe he should have the legal option of not being financially responsible for a child he doesn’t want.  Why should the mother have all the control over whether the father must care for and support their child?

In a nutshell, if mothers can shirk the responsibilities that come with parenthood by taking the life of their child through elective abortion, shouldn’t fathers have the same ability to shirk the responsibilities as well?  How could you argue otherwise if abortion is a legitimate alternative to having an unwanted child?


  1. I can sense another Let’s Talk Opinion post brewing here. Will let you know. I have included your Double Standards on Drunk Sex article in today’s post.
    Will get back to you on this. Thank you for keeping up the debate.

  2. Exactly. Of course we reflexively look down on “deadbeat dads.” But at least they didn’t kill the kids. (Though many women are pressured to have abortions by “bro-choice” guys.)

  3. I think it’s strange for people to talk about what harm abortion saves children from.

    I honestly don’t understand who they think they’re saving if it’s not the thing they’re killing.

    What kind of question is “Is a fetus a human being?”? Philosophical? Scientific?

    • The great thing about this particular discussion, C2C, it doesn’t matter what the fetus is. It’s about the father not having the same rights as the mother. Shouldn’t we be for equal rights?

      • Yeah, I know. It’s just silly without first acknowledging what’s happening.

        • I think that elective abortion still being legal is silly. The ultimate question is always ‘what is the pre-born’?

          Only those defending abortion make ‘what is it’ a philosophical question. That is the crux of their entire view. Scientifically it’s a human being from conception.

  4. One of the things my daughter noted about many arguments defending abortion, is that they are incredibly bigoted, condescending and sexist towards women in general, and single mothers in particular. This is one example. This argument assumes that parents “forced” to have the baby would be bad parents (though it’s usually aimed more at the mother, since fathers aren’t typically part of the conversation; another target of sexism) and abusive towards their children. It’s like when they start throwing out “stats” showing how abortion has somehow saved us from having all these unwed mothers and career criminals, usuing extrapolation to somehow declare that, had these children been born, their mothers would have been single, would have done a terrible job of raising them, and the kids would have grown up to be drains on the system, either through criminal activity, poverty, being relegated to the foster system, etc.

    How utterly insulting to women.

    • I feel the exact same way. It’s just excuse making for potentially abusive parents. Don’t they expect people to not abuse their kids? It sounds like they’re just throwing up their hands…oh well they’ll just neglect and abuse the kids.

    • It’s like an ultimatum. Either you let me abort this kid or I’ll abuse it and it will be your fault I abused the kid because you wouldn’t let me kill it like I wanted to.

  5. Kunoichi,

    I’ve been arguing the same thing for years. It is degrading to women. Of course, given my gender I’m not usually taken very seriously by anti-lifers.

    I’ve also argued that abortion certainly doesn’t empower women. You hear it all the time from the supposedly “pro-choice” crowd, but if you’ve ever seen a woman after an abortion – and I have – you can tell that they don’t feel empowered. In my experience – and this is only my experience – they feel ashamed, depressed, and nothing resembling “empowered.”

    I tend to lean left on certain issues, as John knows well. But I couldn’t be a liberal. I’d rather be thought of as a RINO. The overwhelming support liberals have for abortion disgusts me. And while not all liberals are pro-choice, I’d say over 95% are.

    • Terrance – Degrading; yes, that’s the word I was trying to remember my daughter had also used. Incredibly degrading.

      They certainly don’t believe women are smart enough, capable enough, loving enough or strong enough to raise children they didn’t plan on.

      • for all the times my wife and I have had no money — literally, no money in the bank — we’ve always made it through. We’ve always figured out a way to make it without kids going hungry.

        The stresses of finances have never made my wife or I ever resent or abuse the kids even when some of the finance issues were directly because of the kids (daycare costs $240 per week for the first 3 years of my youngest, or needing school clothes, for example).

        Who are these evil women who will hurt their kids just because they didn’t want them? I remember reading somewhere that half or more than half of all pregnancies are unplanned. So unplanned/likely unwanted is most of us.

  6. And we’re the bad guys for “forcing” them to neglect their children. Gotcha.

    • Doesn’t it almost sound like the guys who say they it’s their girlfriend/wife’s fault they abuse them. If they would just not get mouthy or burn dinner, they wouldn’t have to slap them around.

  7. Yeah, John. It’s a little like that. It’s just funny that it’s supposed to be more noble to go ahead and kill someone before you have the chance to neglect or otherwise harm them. Again, the fetus has to have legal rights for this to be crazy. It would be a crazy murder defense: “I was about to beat him with a tire iron, but I thought better of it, and decided to kill him before I really did any damage”!

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