Oct. 11th: National Tell Everyone Who You Have Sex With Day!

Apparently today is a day observed by the gay community encouraging homosexuals who have kept their sexual proclivities private, to make those proclivities public.

As a heterosexual I can completely empathize, I know how important it is that everyone knows I am sexually attracted to women.  It is such a foundational part of who I am, that it’s one of the first things I make sure people know about me.  “Hi, I’m John, and enjoy having sex with women”.  It’s never awkward since everyone needs to know, and it would be rude if people didn’t want to know.

Most people are unaware that what you do is exactly the same as who you are.  Unfortunately those same people also don’t realize that thinking what you do (whatever it may be) is wrong somehow, that it means they hate you.  This is why it’s important to let them know that when they say “I don’t support that”, you hear, “You are a disgusting sub-human moral monster, and I hate you!”.  This of course is a totally reasonable interpretation since they likely didn’t know they felt that way about you.  But regardless of how they say they feel about you, know they are lying and you can read between the lines and can hear the hateful dog-whistles nonetheless.

So be supportive and make sure people know your sexual proclivities and how they should feel about them.  Help others know it’s totally appropriate to express this about themselves also.  In fact, if you are unsure about family or friends, you should ask, because it’s something everyone should be informed about.  Happy Coming Out Day!


  1. *L* Yup!

    I also see a lot of mothers (maybe fathers do it to, but no one I know) that frequantly preface their comments with “as the parent of a gay child…” As if that somehow gives them authority of opinion over people (they assume) don’t have gay children. What it really tells me is who their kids like to f***, and frankly, I really don’t want to know about their children’s sex lives. Also, it defines *them* – as people and as parents – by who their children like to f***.

    And it is f***, not have sex with, based on their own love of using foul language as much as possible, like that f***H8 campaign, that had people of all ages swearing at the viewer, including small children, which they wholeheartedly defended and encouraged. Because little kids saying f*** is such a wonderful thing, if it’s in defence of who they or their children like to f***.

    Classy, as always.

    My teens have chosen celibacy. This same crowd would think my kids are abnormal for that.

  2. First John, I’d like to assure you that none of your homosexual friends will likely be giving you an itemized list of the men they have bedded this year- so I think we can tone town the hyperbole just a hair. National Coming Out Day is an annual event that celebrates the moral good of being honest and open with your friends and family. Being gay might not be the defining characteristic of most homosexuals, but it is certainly something they ought not hide from loved ones. I would want to know if one of my kids, or one of my friends was homosexual. Their knowledge that I know and support them makes our relationship more fulfilling.
    No one is advocating that gay men and women go into intimate detail with strangers about what they do behind closed doors with their sexual partners. I’m not aware that this is even happening. What is happening is that society is changing- it is beginning to realize that there is no need for shame or deception with regards to whom you share consensual attraction.
    I agree with one point you make here- that the need for a day set aside for this is absolutely absurd. Our society should not have such a problem with something that is perfectly legal, moral, and fulfilling that we need to “support” or “tolerate” it with pithy one day acknowledgements. It should be a given that friends, family and community will embrace banal differences in the expression of sexuality.

    • George, please don’t condescend me. It’s not about the moral good of being open and honest. If that were the case, we wouldn’t need an entire day. You can be honest every day, and should be. Today is about making public your sexual orientation. It’s about making your family and friends aware of the kind of person you sexually desire — as if they ought to care.

      Why should people, gay or straight, make it known to their loved ones? Do you also want disclosure from your kids if they’re heterosexual too? Or only if they’re gay? Why do you want to know? What duty do they have to inform you or anyone their sexual proclivities? This is the absurdity of it all, not that we have a special day. To think anyone cares or “deserves” to know is highly intrusive and ought to have their ego put in check.

      I think my biggest objection to movements like this is how gays especially equate their sexual desires with their innermost being. Many times they appropriate their sexuality as a priority for describing who they are. This is a very shallow way of looking at yourself, and presuming others care (or should) is a very conceited belief, as though your sexuality is important information.

  3. Today is about making public your sexual orientation. It’s about making your family and friends aware of the kind of person you sexually desire — as if they ought to care.

    Bingo! You just elegantly described why we need a day devoted to normalizing the blase nature of sexual orientation.

  4. What we need are more days where we call out those who wish to normalize the mental disorder of same sex attractions. And we need days where we encourage people who feel oriented toward any bad behavior to resist and rise above it.

  5. “mental disorder”

    Does any more evidence need to be given in order to prove that homosexuality is still highly stigmatized? Why wouldn’t homosexuals feel the need to hide their sexual orientation when we have people calling their orientation a “:mental disorder”?

    • Oscar

      Just as a point of fact, samesex sexual attraction was removed from the dsm by a vote, and only by a slim margin at that. It was not the full association which voted, and the vote itself was forced by political pressure, it wasn’t self motivated by psychiatrists findings. They were being threatened with protests and riots.

      So I think you could at least sympathize with someone who is skeptical people claiming that “psychiatrists agree…” especially when at least one former head of the association admits that acceptance of samesex sexual desires as normal is driven by politics and not research.

  6. What we need are more days where we call out those who wish to normalize the mental disorder of same sex attractions. And we need days where we encourage people who feel oriented toward any bad behavior to resist and rise above it.

    Is this an example of how little people care about sexual orientation?
    Pro-tip: Not caring is not the same as not wanting to hear about icky stuff.

  7. George,

    You see to be confusing caring about an issue with caring about any given individual’s personal habits, desires or lifestyles. I am not singling out homosexuals as the only people who wish to normalize the behavior or orientation.

    As for “icky stuff”, most people regard the very thought of their own parents engaging in sexual behavior is “icky”. Most people find the thought to two overweight and unattractive heterosexuals of the opposite gender as “icky”. “Icky” has nothing to do with it.


    It is quite evident that same sex attraction is a disorder. Men and women are biologically designed to join with each other. The attraction between the two is a natural one because of that complimentary and compatible design.

  8. The value of Coming Out Day is so that people like you can be educated that love isn’t just about sex. It seems to be a difficult lesson to learn, but apparently it helps to know that your friends, coworkers, and family are gay too. Then even those who try to insulated themselves from reality, comforting themselves that unscientific nonsense about ‘disorders’ can know that it’s perfectly healthy, physically and mentally, to love who you love. In fact, it’s unhealthy not to. The disorder here is having intimate feelings repressed to conform to outdated religious sensibilities.
    And if you really don’t like it, don’t hate people so much, and then they won’t have to ‘out’ themselves against societal (read: religious) repression.

    • See, I’m glad you mentioned how much I hate gays. In fact I don’t but that’s what you hear, giving credence to the snark in my post.
      My issue isn’t with gays or their love of one another, or even their modes of sexual gratification. My issue is people like you telling me I have to like it, appreciate it, champion it, endorse it or else I’m a hateful ignorant bigot.

      As to healthy mentally and physically? Sorry, the facts aren’t on your side with that claim.

  9. Jason,

    Perhaps you can provide a link that shows the science proving no disorder in the attraction to the same gender. Or perhaps attractions of any kind at all are equally valid. The fact is that those like yourself aren’t interested in science as regards matters like this, but instead in satisfying feelings.

  10. “The value of Coming Out Day is so that people like you can be educated that love isn’t just about sex.”

    Except the homosexuality is, by definition, about sex. It’s about lust, not love. You can love someone, deeply and passionately, and not have sex with them. What is being demanded of society is to recognise and condone the sexual attractions and activities of a tiny minority which, again by definition, is abnormal. Not only that, but if anyone here is following what’s happening with the TDSB, children are being actively indoctrinated into a sex-based lifestyle that is being redefined as being about “love.” It’s not. It’s about sex.

    • Kunoichi

      I have been following the TDSB and I found it very disturbing. For anyone who doesnt know, the Toronto District School Board has been pushing many different sexual proclivities as normal and natural to grammar and grade school aged kids. They have provided links which describe and depict (unedited) sexual positions, and masturbation techniques even including vegetables and auto-fellatio. All this “education” had its genesis in accepting homosexuality and same sex marriage.

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